I seem to do my best thinking while in flight. I typically bring a notebook along with me to journal and write out my thoughts. While on a recent flight (before COVID struck), I began to think about the pressure society has made us feel around being our best selves. We start to believe that by adding more to our plate and joining the bandwagon of hustle culture, we will somehow reach this higher version of ourselves.
While I do understand that striving to be our best selves is important, I think this is the exact dialogue that has caused so many people to feel constant anxiety, and even depression. The internet and social media have introduced a whole new level of comparison to our generation.
Lately, I’ve fallen into a rut because I constantly feel like I’m not doing enough. I could be doing more for PYM, my job, my family, my community, myself.
We’re told to establish a morning routine, wake up early, make our bed, eat a balanced breakfast, workout, work productively everyday, have a side hustle, stay in contact with both friends and family, give back, do a nightly routine, cook dinner, read books, do more self-care, travel often, save our money…you get my point.
There is always more we can add to our current lives, and more that we could be doing. This will always be true no matter what phase of life you’re in.
As I contemplated the feeling of pressure that I was experiencing, I started to think about my mantra for PYM, which goes something like – a brand to inspire confidence and help women reach their highest potential.
While the first part is true, I decided to adjust the second part of the phrase “reach their highest potential.” I’m over this idea of striving for a better version of ourselves; I value self-care just as much as the next person, but I feel as though we have put a lot of weight on this concept of continuously bettering ourselves. In reality, I think this is what leads us to burn out. We just keep piling on the to-dos to our routine, so much so, that we end up burning out. We lose motivation and passion.
A real healthy routine shouldn’t make you feel burnt out.
Hear me out – I’m not saying that making healthy changes or adjustments to your life is a bad thing. It’s this hustle-culture driven mindset that can be toxic to our well-being. No matter how much we are doing, there is always going to be something else to strive for. If we can’t learn to be happy and content where we are in the moment, we will never truly appreciate the life we have.
I’ve decided to change the PYM mantra to be about showing up as your authentic self. I believe that instead of focusing on being a better version of ourselves, we should focus on being our most authentic selves. We should choose to show up everyday, no matter how uncomfortable or difficult. We aren’t always going to be our best selves, that’s just not human. I want PYM to meet you where you are in life. You are welcome if you are experiencing mental health struggles; you are welcome if you don’t feel super confident about your body or if you feel lost in life. If you’re unmotivated, if you’re “too old” – we will meet you where you are.
As a society, we need to put less pressure on making people continuously improve and more pressure on accepting people for who they are right now. We may not have reached our highest potential yet, but we are all a work in progress.
“You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously” -Sophia Bush
Living your best life has become this ever-present social media trend – we constantly see people sharing their highlights and we can take that on ourselves as not doing enough. We could be completely content with our lives, but as soon as we hop on social media, we feel down about not doing more (traveling, hanging with friends, going out, dating).
I’ve experienced this in my life – I can be doing a lot of amazing things and then I’ll scroll through social media and feel like I’m not doing enough. It’s hard not to feel that way when we are constantly seeing what others around us are doing, but we must remember that we are on our own path in life. We may not be where we want to be yet, we may have done a lot of amazing things and we may have many more goals – and that’s okay!
You are allowed to be a work in progress. Life is a continuous process of highs and lows, even when you reach a new goal or destination, there will always be the next best thing. That’s just how it goes. That’s why you must appreciate and accept where you are right now because you’ll never have this moment again. Happiness comes from the acceptance of oneself.
It’s why I’d like to adjust our mission for PYM. We never want to make you feel pressured to be this ideal person of yourself in order to be accepted in our community. You will be welcomed as you are, all that we ask is that you show up as your authentic self, even when that is uncomfortable. Being your authentic self means choosing to be self-aware of who you are, and still loving yourself in the process.
We all could improve in many ways, but in order to find happiness, we need to be more accepting of ourselves. Life happens, we lose motivation, our passions change, we grow and that’s just our story. Let’s work together to understand that, and continue to move positively forward!