Good Morning Friends,
Today I wake up with a heavy heart and the feeling of numbness taking over my body. If you have yet to see or hear the news, last night an attack took place in Nice, France right where I am staying. Yesterday was Bastille Day in France, which is equivalent to the 4th of July in the States. There was fireworks, spirits, live music and lots of people. The firework show began at 10 pm, as my friends and I sat on the beach watching the firework display, the thought of an attack never crossed my mind.
You think about these acts of terror that occur around the world and you tell yourself “It will never happen to me!”, but sorry to break you piece of mind, it CAN happen to you in a matter of seconds. Before you even know it you are following a mass crowd of people running for their lives, yet you are completely clueless as to what is even happening. But, in the back of your mind you think “terrorist attack”.
It was just after the fireworks, around 10:30 pm (France time) and my friends and I began to head toward a different part of the beach to meet up with more friends. It was one girls birthday in our group, so we were anxious to celebrate with her. My friends Danielle & Bailey were walking ahead of me, and I was walking with some of my new friends from France Langue. For one second I lost sight of them because the crowd of people was so big, but I knew where they were headed so I was not worried, but then it began.
People were running away from the Promenade where all the festivities had been taking place, we had just came from there. I had no idea what was happening so I too began to run with the crowd but then suddenly they shifted directions, I was completely terrified and trapped. My heart sank in that moment because part of me knew it was an attack and I didn’t know what kind it was. Was there bombs planted in the city? Was it just one man? Were there others?
I had no idea.
I ran into this alley way with my Swiss friends, we huddled in this door way to an apartment and the looks on everyone’s faces was horrifying. It is a feeling I will never forget. Luckily, a person that lived in the building buzzed us in and for 5 seconds I felt safe. But then the thoughts of what is happening returned, I was in a building with complete strangers, was one of them in on whatever was happening outside? Or even worse was there a bomb? Terrible thoughts circulated my head. Finally people from inside opened their doors, offered us water and the restroom and I began to realize this was safe for now.
As we sat in the building, I called Danielle to see if she was okay and where she was and thankfully she and Bailey were close enough to come join me. Others in our group were taken into other apartments or some of them were lucky to be almost home. I sat in the stairwell of this apartment building from 10:30 pm until after 1 am. We did not know when it was “safe” to leave. We had been so close to where the situation occurred that the streets were filled with people screaming and crying, for 4 hours we heard sirens passing the building. The building did not have any windows from the stairs, so I was still completely unsure of what was occurring. We had been hearing different stories from everyone. The police told us to stay put for now.
After waiting for hours, the group decided it was time to see if we could get out. The police had us walk out with our hands above our heads and hands free from our bodies. When we got to the line of police men in the city center our bodies were examined and our bags were inspected. I was still so nervous, even with the military and police all around. After we got beyond the city center things were quiet. We all walked each other home and hugged one another, in relief that in a matter of 5 minutes our lives changed.
Before leaving the beach that night we were waiting for our group to collect, the streets were dense with civilians and we were moving through the crowd very slowly. After breaking through the crowd it was no more than a couple of minutes until the madness began. The place that we had come from was the place that the truck had driven through the crowd.
5 minutes more or less, I may not be here. FIVE MINUTES.
Before I left on this trip people were telling me not to go because of situations like so, although I am very shaken up by the situation I do not regret this trip or even last night. I am almost thankful that I experienced because it was a slap in the face about how f**king scary our world really is, one minute you think you are safe and the next you are hiding in an apartment building with strangers crying and calling loved ones. You can’t trust the people beside you because you don’t know what is even happening outside. The world is becoming a scary place and I am saddened by the road our global society is taking. Hate is not the way to get things done, killing innocent people is not the way to get things done.
When we left the building we were hiding in, I did not even think to look behind me, I couldn’t bear to see the carnage of people and police scattering the eerie street behind me. When I got home around 2 am this morning, my host mom hugged me and cried. My phone was exploding with notifications. I wanted to respond as much as I could but my feelings were numb, and they still are. It is hard to process because nothing happened to me directly or physically, but mentally I am in shambles. I do not even know how to fathom the event, I am thankful that I am alive and healthy but I am also in complete shock of what happened. It just does not seem real, once again it is one of those things were you think it can never happen to you until it does.
The world is headed down a dark path of hate and violence and it is actually terrifying to witness it firsthand. You watch the news and you say that’s sad and you go change your profile picture on Facebook and call it good. That’s not how this is supposed to work…whether you’re black or white, Islamic or Christian; this is not how the world works. We need to stand together to fight back to these acts of hate. Stop blaming one race, stop blaming the police, stop blaming others and look in the mirror. You can change yourself, you can spread kindness and love and support your brothers and sisters of a different race, religion or sex. You do not have to agree with their actions or beliefs but if we continue to separate ourselves into groups, our society is going to take a hard turn to hell.
Thank you for reading my post and I appreciate all the support I am receiving from family, friends and others. It truly means a lot to me! I felt like writing out my feelings was the best way to understand what happened, but I still don’t think I will ever understand how one person can kill another with no care. I hope you all are safe and sound, and my thoughts and prayers goes out to those who were seriously impacted by the event.