Hello Everyone,
Yes I am still here in France but after some observation of my peers I think this post is necessary.
Before I quit cheerleading this past year, I had a lot of self-confidence issues. Being on the cheer team I never felt good enough, I felt too fat compared to the other girls, I felt negative about myself and the list goes on. There was a lot of back stabbing that occurred and I was becoming this negative person I was not proud of. I thought that I was confident during my freshmen and sophomore year, but it wasn’t until I parted with cheer and started finding myself elsewhere, that I discovered I was not confident in who I was. Starting this blog has helped me find the things I love, I have been able to put myself first and find myself in a new way. Putting yourself out there can be difficult, like blogging publicly, but it can be very freeing when you are receiving feedback and you are confident in yourself.
Coming on this study abroad trip has made me realize my own progress in becoming more confident in myself and my beliefs. I’m not only proud of myself for taking this leap of faith into adventure and mystery, but also for truly finding confidence in myself. I am not writing this to toot my own horn, it’s actually due to the realization that many of my peers, specifically the females in my group, struggle with confidence and owning who they are. I am here to change that because not too long ago I was that girl, I felt like my beauty and personality wasn’t enough. I think girls have it tough sometimes, we can never be too comfortable because that’s conceited but we also can’t be to insecure because then we are shamed. Girls need to learn to be comfortable in their skin and confident in there goals and values.
The past few months for me has been spent finding myself, I know that is commonly used and cheesy, but for as long as I can remember I have been defined as a cheerleader. In the past few months I have been finding myself in a new light, and this crazy adventure could not have been better timing for where I am in my life. It has inspired me in many ways.
My best friend, Tessa, bought me a custom necklace before I left that says “#girllboss” and on this trip so many people asked me what that means. I guess I have never thought thoroughly about how to define Girlboss or how it defines me; but after the many questions on this trip and the #Girlboss posts on my blog, I’ve come up with something. So thank you Tessa for helping define who I truly am…a #Girlboss. Thanks for a wonderful gift and friendship.
Girlboss is not about being an extreme feminist or being a controlling b*tch, it’s about being confident in yourself, loving yourself and inspiring others to do the same. I say this because even when you don’t see the impact of these elements, other do, it shines brightly. On this trip, I have been having some of my friends take pictures of my in front of different sites or views, mostly for my blog but also for myself. One of the times that I was taking a picture one of the boys on the trip stepped in and called me conceited for taking so many pictures of myself. At first I became defensive about the comment, but then I realized that for the first time in a while I was being called conceited for loving myself, my body and my life. How is that a bad thing? I am in a beautiful country, with beautiful people and sites!?
Girlboss, defined by me as: A girl who loves herself and lives her life how she wants, aside from societal norms. A girl that encourages other girls to love themselves too! A girl that is smart and witty, but also knows how to let loose. A girl that is not afraid to be smarter than a man. A girl that seeks adventure, knowledge and success in all she does.
I would choose to be called conceited over insecure any day. This is why I say girls can never win the confidence game, we either don’t have enough or we have too much, it’s a crime if you pose a threat to being completely content with yourself. I know society likes to tell us we need to change, we need to be this perfect shape and this perfect housewife or we are below men when it comes to brains. Sorry to get all feminist but it’s sadly true. This is why I am accepting of the “being conceited” comment because I think it’s important to be conceited at times. In life you are the only you there is and if you’re not conceited for yourself sometimes, who will be!? Now there is a difference between being overly conceited and being humble. Always be humble, but don’t cut yourself short because society tells you to. Go take pictures of yourself, go start your own company and be a CEO, do whatever your beautiful soul desires.
I am writing this for the girls on my trip, and girls everywhere, who are insecure about taking pictures of themselves or nervous to be their true selves in fear of being judged for being conceited or too much. I know you are fearful that you’re not enough or your thighs are too big or too small, but trust me your gorgeous. You may be thinking it’s easy for me to say because I am small or pretty or something, but I use to feel the same way and I’ve been there. Girls of all shapes, sizes and ages feel the same things, trust me. Once you learn to accept your flaws and embrace them rather than pick at them daily, you will be one step closer to confidence. We always are comparing and judging ourselves to women who are not at the same level or place as us. You’re not going to look like a model because you do not have a make-up team and stylist at your side, and that’s okay. You have to look at where you are in life, be thankful for that and keep moving forward with a positive attitude.
Accepting these things will open a new door for you. I have been working on fixing my negative attitude toward myself over the past few months, and I did not see any crazy changes but clearly others have around me. I am back to joking and being myself with others very quickly, rather than being the quiet and unsure girl. I don’t think you ever realize when you are fully confident until other start seeing it, and that is a beautiful moment because being confident with yourself in a judgmental society can be very difficult.
Often times we look to others for inspiration but while we are looking one way for inspiration, someone else is looking to you for their inspiration and we do not realize it. Stop comparing yourself and start being yourself, that’s important to someone out there and if it’s not it’s important to your health. You may not realize the people you are impacting but one day someone may photo bomb you and tell you that you’re conceited or something and you may think “ouch”, but then you will realize you are no longer the insecure quiet girl.
It’s okay to be a powerful woman, I promise. It’s okay to take pictures of yourself, I promise. It’s okay to be proud of your accomplishments, I promise. It’s okay to be a little conceited, I promise. Be smart, be proud and be you.
After encouraging the other girls in my friend group to be more confident and not be afraid to take pictures of themselves, yesterday we had a break through and they all wanted solo pics and it ended up being a really fun day because we all were having so much fun posing for pictures. I think self-confidence is important and the world needs more of it. Encourage others to be the best version of themselves, because sometimes they don’t believe it and they need the reminder.
So here is a shout out to the girls in my group: You are stronger than you believe and more courageous than most simply because you are here in a foreign country. Not everyone has the strength and courage to travel to a foreign country for 6 weeks to study a second language and live with complete strangers. So if you are even doubting yourself or abilities the slightest bit, maybe it is time to evaluate how far you have come and realize you are person filled with adventure, strength and confidence… you just have to believe it too.
Here are some encouraging photos to go along with this post:
I am proud to call myself a Girlboss and you should be too. Thank you all for reading my posts, even when I am gone! Keep up with me on my journey by subscribing below or following my Instagram.