The moment you dread from the second you step foot on your college campus as a Freshman: l e a v i n g.
I was fortunate enough to go right into grad school, and my boyfriend and friends were still here, so I was able to postpone the graduation sadness for a year. First, let me tell you, I totally regret EVER saying I was ready to be done and out of here. The adulthood scaries have arrived, and it’s like Sunday scaries… only magnified… by a million.
Everyone jokes about the Pythagorean theorem never being relevant after high school math classes, but you know what else is totally not relevant after college? 80% of the things I learned. And no one teaches you how to prepare for the unknown. It’s scary, it’s uncertain, and it’s weird. So, today I’m unfolding all the things that no one prepares you for… in hopes that you’ll read it and be more prepared when you cross the stage at your college graduation.
It doesn’t hit you until your move out day. And then it hits you like a freight train.
While I’m lucky (and sort of unlucky all in the same breath) and didn’t have to move out while I complete my job hunt, all of my best friends and my roommate had to move out within a day of graduation. The hardest was my roommate of 5 years leaving. I kid you not, I sat on her floor and SOBBED after she left. No one prepared me for that level of sadness, but I want you to be ready and I want you to know that it’s perfectly normal.
I watched some of my boyfriend’s best friends (who consequently are my best guy friends and easily some of my favorite people) cry when they said goodbye. MEN. CRYING. Because that shit is sad. And normal. No matter how prepared, you’re never really prepared for the cloud of sadness that looms above your head as you watch your favorite people leave.
That sadness can translate into other aspects of your new post-grad life. It’s okay.
I thought I was alone in this, but the more posts I’ve seen from friends, the more I realize I’m not. There is so much uncertainty. You don’t have responsibilities to attend class anymore, or to do homework, to open the textbook that collected dust all semester because you never used it. There’s so much free time, but there’s a level of anxiousness associated with not having anything school-related to do for the first time in, like, 20 years. There’s a sense of feeling lost, like your routine is out of whack. That’s okay too.
You’ll develop new routines over time. You will situate yourself in a new place, whether it’s your parents’ home temporarily while you search for jobs or wait for your new career to begin, or whether you’ve moved into a new place. The uncertainty of life allows us to live it.
Your friends might have jobs lined up. It’s okay if you don’t.
There’s this overwhelming sense of pressure that you have to have it all together the weekend you graduate. That’s not true. Some people have had full time positions since their junior year internships ended, some have had some this entire semester, and some are still looking. Regardless of the ship you’re sailing in, there’s no right place to be. Timing works differently for everyone, job openings are different for every field of work, and honestly, sometimes you just need a damn break.
There’s no one-size-fits-all mold for this chapter. Take a summer off if you want to. Travel. Take your time searching for jobs that will have meaning for you. Decompress. You have your entire life ahead of you, so girl, don’t worry if you feel like your shit isn’t together right now. It doesn’t have to be and you don’t have to fake that it is. Social media gives us these expectations that we have to land the coolest job and then post about it so everyone can see. Sure, it’s a nice life update, but it might not go that way for everyone. And I guarantee you even those who have posted about their ‘perfect’ positions, are still in some kind of post-grad panic. Don’t compare yourself.
The job choice you make today, does not have to be (and probably won’t be) where you end up 20 years from now.
Embrace your opportunities. Make the best of every situation that you can. But understand that you’re not stuck. Things are not permanent if you don’t want them to be. Always be in tune with your mental health, your emotional health, and your physical health. If you feel like you’re somewhere where those are beginning to dwindle, take a step back and feel confident in making a choice that’s best for you. I find myself worrying what other people will think of a decision I make that puts myself first, but that’s my greatest mistake. At the end of the day, you have to put yourself first: your happiness, your health, and anything that matters to you personally. It’s more important than you believe.
Things will start to feel normal again, don’t get too discouraged. It only makes sense that things feel so different, but eventually, your post-grad life becomes a new type of normal. You develop new routines, and honestly, probably some healthier routines. Take time to be in-tune with what your body wants (drink more water, eat when you feel hungry, sleep enough to power through the next day). Start building your foundation to the best year, the best life, and the best you.
Written by Amanda Miller