I won’t go on and on about how break-ups suck. Yes it’s for the better, yes you’ll get through it, and one day you’ll laugh with your friends about how you once thought you found “the one.” But all of that doesn’t really help in those moments where you feel like the world is closing in around you. One thing that does? Music.
As a musician, break-ups give me all of my songwriting material. But I’ve also noticed my taste in music surprising me during a break-up. My song library is already pretty eclectic, going from country, to alternative, to hip-hop and everything in between, but during a break-up your mind clings to the lyrics that you relate to the most. Sometimes the songs that those lyrics come from are some that you never would have imagined liking.
There’s nothing quite like hearing a line in a song and thinking “holy sh*t…I FEEL that.” Relating to songs when you’re happy feels good, but those heartbreak lyrics just be hittin’ different, if you know what I mean.
Here are the top 10 songs that helped me the most post break-up:
“The Best You Had” – Nina Nesbitt
“It’s crazy that you’re moving on so fast, when I am still the best you had…”
This song came on my Spotify Daily Mix at exactly the right time. The whole idea is: you broke up. He’s with someone else. But for your own pride, you maintain that that’s okay, as long as you’re still the best he’s had. It’s dark and low, but in order to get rid of those feelings of jealousy, you have to face it head on first. This song forced me to do that.
“Last Kiss” – Taylor Swift
“So I’ll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep, I’ll feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe…”
What… you thought Taylor Swift (my queen) wouldn’t be on this break-up playlist? Anyways… this is arguably in the top 3 of Taylor’s most well-written songs. At one point, I wanted my friends to stalk my activity on Spotify and immediately stop me once I put this song on. It will make you romanticize the sh*t out of any relationship you’ve ever had, if you let it.
“The Time I’ve Wasted” – Lori McKenna
“I could have filled the Mississippi river with my tears, no telling what I could have done with all these years // I could have dug out the Grand Canyon with a spoon, for all the time I’ve wasted on you…”
Sure, some relationships teach us things that we need to learn before we can be successful with “the one.” But sometimes relationships feel like a total waste of time and energy. You may not have been cheated on, but you feel like you cheated yourself by spending time with someone who wasn’t really all they were cracked up to be. This song puts that feeling into words. (Lori McKenna is a goddess).
“Liability” – Lorde
“The truth is I am a toy that people enjoy, ’til all of the tricks don’t work anymore, and then they are bored of me…”
*Deep breaths* Okay. This song. When I first heard this song, something clicked in me. I felt like I had written it. Ask me today, it’s still my favorite song of all time. The lyric above hit me the hardest. Most of my relationships started out with being so in love, showing each other off, meeting families and friends…and then once it wasn’t all fun and games, and there was some kind of roadblock, the relationship wasn’t worth it anymore. They were bored. I was a liability. Turn this one on when you’re having one of those sit-down showers.
“Vice” – Miranda Lambert
“Another vice, another town, where my past can’t run me down…”
This song will make you want to pack everything you have in the back of your car and just drive. All by yourself, letting everything you left behind roll out the window, looking out to some deserted old highway. This was Miranda’s break-out hit after divorcing Blake Shelton, ranking no. 31 in Rolling Stone’s “50 Best Songs of 2016” and was nominated for two Grammys in 2017. Bye bye, Blake.
“Blame It On Your Heart” – Patty Loveless
“So blame it on your lying, cheating, cold dead beating, two-timing, double dealing, mean mistreating, loving heart…”
Picking up the pace a bit, let’s talk about this little 90s country tune. Once you get all of the words down, this song is the best to scream in the mirror while putting on red lipstick. After singing this one at my gigs, I’m completely out of breath from all of the bad-bitchness. Turn this one on when you catch him looking at your Instagram stories 4 months after you breakup. YEEHAW!
“Be Careful” – Cardi B
“You even got me trippin’, you got me lookin’ in the mirror different, thinkin’ I’m flawed because you inconsistent…”
Alright so…no I’m not particularly a Cardi B fan, especially after everything that’s come out about her lately. And I’m not proud to admit I can rap this song flawlessly, (not the n-bombs though, don’t worry) but damn it every single lyric in this thing is deeply relatable. Like the whole song is just a huge retweet. It’s a direct shoutout to the little boys who once chased you, but think the grass is greener on the other side.
“Up Out My Face” – Mariah Carey
“And no you ain’t getting it, I know you ain’t hittin’ it, no you ain’t a rapper so you need to stop spitting it…”
Leave it to Mariah to create a song that single-handedly saved my life. The power, the FLAVOR of Mariah singing “up out my face, boy” is enough to cleanse your aura of all the f*ck boys you’ve ever encountered. I’m in a healthy, amazing relationship right now and I’m still dancing to it sitting in my bed while typing this. My favorite time to listen to this song was first thing in the morning, fresh makeup, driving to meet up with friends for coffee. And then 10,000 times more throughout the day to keep that energy up.
“Forgetting All About You” – Phoebe Ryan
“Every single night, I’m making plans with my stupid friends, I drink ’til I’m sick, throw up in the club, it’s super fun forgetting all about you…”
This is the reckless song. The song you go to when you and your friends are dancing around (and on) your kitchen island before going out for the night. For months after my last break-up, my friends always made sure to keep me busy. We had so much fun every single day, it made me wonder why I thought being in that relationship was anywhere CLOSE to the fulfillment I got from being stupid with my girlfriends.
“Clean” – Taylor Swift
“Rain came pouring down when I was drowning, that’s when I could finally breathe // And that morning, gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean, I think I am finally clean…”
Yep, we’re ending it with another Swiftie masterpiece. I was so excited when my fellow PYM girls said they loved this song. Even without the lyrics, this song just feels CLEAN. Like you’re dusting your hands off of all the bullsh*t you went through. It also captures the feeling of being so incredibly anxious in a relationship, and even though you’re devastated when it ends, you can finally breathe. Turn this song on when you can look at old pictures or listen to “your” songs and not feel a thing. You’re done, you’re clean.