Five years have passed since my husband and I tied the knot. It seems like just yesterday we were teens in high school, just holding hands and hanging out until the late hours of the night. No pressures, no fears of the future, no obligations but getting good grades and graduating on time.

Fast forward to when we got married. It was one of the best days of my life. Like seriously. I remember just thinking about the day and how it would all play out. The flowers were perfect, the sun was shining, and our life together was just beginning. 

Let’s stop there for a second. Our lives together were JUST beginning. We have plans to travel to Italy and to eventually buy a craftsman style home. We want to explore our relationship more and grow the foundation beyond comparison.

So, when we are asked “why don’t you have kids yet?” or “when are you going to finally have a baby?” it really gets to me. It is NO ONE’S business why a couple does not have a baby or why they might not want one.

Say it louder for the one’s in the back. IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHY WE DON’T HAVE KIDS YET.

So many of us in our “child-bearing” years are asked when kids are going to arrive in our lives. There are so so so many reasons why a couple may not have a baby yet so really think about what you are asking.

One.

Infertility Problems

Did you know that out of 100 couples, roughly 12-13 of them have some form of infertility problems. This is something extremely personal and completely private. If they choose to share with you, great! If they don’t want to talk about it, no problem. At the end of the day, this is something extremely serious to them and constantly asking them why they don’t have a baby yet can be hurtful.

Two.

Not Ready

They simply don’t want them yet. I would say my husband and I fall into this category a little bit. We don’t want them, yet. And that is completely okay. Maybe the couple isn’t financially ready or want to wait until they have a house or maybe they want to focus on their relationship first. 

Three.

Simply Don’t Want Them

More and more couples are living their best lives together without kids. They may have a few fur babies or love to travel for long periods of time and are not interested in having kids at all. AND THIS IS OKAY. Again, it is none of your business why they do not want them or to pressure them into thinking they are missing out on something.

Lastly, I want to touch on something personal to our (my husband and I) situation. Yes, we want kids. When? We have no idea. However, we might not want biological kids and instead would love to just adopt. There are over 400,000 children in the foster care system in the United States. Imagine all these little ones in search of a home. 

Whatever someone’s reasoning maybe as to why or HOW they will have kids is their prerogative. All you need to do is support them and be a good listener.

Danielle Moore | @dayswdee