Hi friends!
Frustration to the max level over here today. I feel like we are always waiting for answers in life. Wait, wait, wait. In case you didn’t know—anxiety literally feeds off this environment and unfortunately, if you’re me…it’s a hard habit to kick. It’s disheartening the amount of worry I carry around on a regular basis nowadays. Anxiety, depression, grief, traumatic experiences, etc…they all distract us from realizing just how resilient we truly are as human beings.
There are so many possible outcomes to every single situation we encounter. We cannot possibly be holding all the cards (or answers in my case). I wish I had all the answers and knew exactly how my life was going to turnout—but the truth is, life continues to surprise me every single day. Some days are good…some mediocre and some just flat out SUCK.
When we try to hold all the cards or have all the answers, sometimes it feels like we are completely defeated when we don’t have them. So why do we do it? Why do we fight tooth and nail sometimes in order to ‘keep control’ even though inevitably, life is still going to happen? We bring a frenzy into our lives when we continue to search for these answers that hell, might not even be there…it actually makes us feel like we are spinning even more out of control instead of gaining control over our lives.
Breathe. Just breathe. Take a minute to collect yourself when things get tough…are you breathing? Breathing is one of the simplest things that we can actually control and when we take these deep, slow breaths, we allow our bodies to slow some. You’re allowing an increased supply of oxygen to your brain that instills a sense of calmness and will put you at an already decreased anxious state of mind.
When you’re needing a little extra strength or trying to pull yourself out of negativity or what I call my worst nightmare, remember these few things to remind you of just how resilient you are in a world that we have little control over:
- Even bad times end: EVERYTHING ends—whether it may be good or bad. Sometimes we feel like these ‘bad times’ consume us entirely. They feel like they will never end in that moment. If you’re like me, it’s like the waves just keep coming at this point while I’m trying to hold my head above water. Our minds tend to expand on our negative events happening and forget all the good. It has a difficult time focusing on anything but the bad. But nevertheless, even the WORST situations end at some point. Patience is key and even when life SUCKS sometimes—things will change.
- You’ve overcome challenges before: if your life is anything like mine, you’ve been down this road before where you think the bad things will never end or you wonder how you can possibly make it through again. Each day when you lay your head on your pillow to sleep and you’re already dreading tomorrow think of it this way—you’ve made it through another day. You’ve made it through what you once thought was impossible, unbearable or downright terrifying. But here you are reading this…so you’re still standing. Mindset is crucial and will help you take an active role in this crazy life and rise above because every situation you walk through makes you even more resilient.
- Remember your strengths: strengths, strengths, strengths; I cannot say it enough. These are the things that make us resilient and make us truly unique human beings. It’s difficult sometimes to stray away from focusing only on our flaws. Our strengths become secondary in these situations but really, they are our lifelines.
- It happens to everyone: okay so I find myself guilty of this once pretty regularly lately. When facing hardships our mind sometimes leads us to believe these things only happen to us—like the universe is plotting against us. Which when you really think about it, this is our mind being hyper aware of our own troubles because ya know, we’re living through them. We cannot possibly be aware of everybody else’s struggles…which may feel like they have it better than you.
- You can always ask for help: I’ve been very fortunate to have a pretty AMAZING support system, even if it means going out of my comfort zone to say I need help or create new relationships (like PYM!) Support systems are a must for me and have gotten me through some pretty dark days. Grab your girlfriends, some coffee / wine, watch a girly movie that doesn’t require much thinking, or just let them be there for you even if you don’t feel like talking. Don’t be afraid to take that step, you don’t have to be alone.
“You’re going to be happy” said life, “but first I’ll make you strong.” Paulo Coelho
As always, believe in yourself. You are so much stronger than you even know.
So much love,
Steph