Hey you,

Do me a favor — before you start reading this, go look in the mirror & smile at yourself. Find 3 things that you like about yourself — It can be your eyes, your smile, dimples, freckles, anything — say them out loud, write them down, do whatever you need to do to genuinely appreciate those 3 things you liked about what you saw in the mirror. Then, do it again tomorrow, except you have to find 3 new things that you love about yourself. Thanks for taking the time to do this for me.

That exact thing that I just had you do, though it may have seemed silly, it was one of the steps that helped me fall in love with myself again.

For the longest time, anytime I walked by a mirror, I would force myself to smile & mentally highlight my favorite things I saw. (seriously, people around me probably thought I was self conceited – but thats okay,  they didn’t know)

We are our own biggest critics, we are the first to point out any & every flaw we see about ourselves. We compare ourselves to the person next to us. When we walk into a room, we catch our eyes searching for the best looking human in there & we mentally note everything we wish we had, that they have.

I will be the first to admit I was one of those people for so long. I want to say just how exhausting it is to be constantly focusing on the negatives & always mentally competing with the ones around us.

Learning to genuinely love yourself doesn’t just happen overnight — this is something you do have to work for & really want for yourself . But, the first day that you wake up & you realize that you had learned to love yourself is an indescribable feeling.

How I learned to unapologetically love myself

  1. I got myself healthy — physically, mentally & emotionally. This was the first thing I did when I realized just how badly I wanted to really deeply fall in love with myself.
  • Physically – I got to the gym, I started eating healthier (yes, I still treated myself to the occasional 7 cookies in one helping) & I fixed my sleep schedule (Sleepy time tea & restful sleep gummies by Olly helped me get there)
  • Mentally – (letting you in on a personal level is hard for me, but I do it in hopes that it might help you) – I have struggled with depression & anxiety for years now. When I was younger I tried helping myself naturally first – I went to therapy, watched all the motivational videos, did yoga, tried probably every natural vitamin that existed, all the essential oils, a weighted blanket, etc. (which helped maintain symptoms for a while), but as I got older & my symptoms got worse I finally allowed myself to realize that I needed more help – WHICH (I finally realized) IS OKAY. I got myself into the doctors & we found a prescribed medication that would best help me & what I needed to cope
  • Emotionally – I started communicating better. This is a tough one to work on & everyone does it differently. For me, I realized my biggest emotional struggle was that I would bottle everything up until I exploded (seriously though). I started saying everything that came to mind & if something was bothering me (big or small), I shared those thoughts & feelings. I became very transparent

2. I forgave myself – I apologized & promised myself to be better. I along with all of you reading this have screwed up in some way throughout this crazy life. Whatever damage you caused, big or small, know that you are not alone. We all make mistakes & after we can be so crucially hard on ourselves – which is allowed – but eventually you have to forgive yourself & move on. Carrying the negative weight on your shoulders will not help you.

3. I looked in the mirror – Exactly what I had you do when you first started reading this, so congrats – you already took a step towards learning to love yourself.

4. Be a hype man – Yes, this sounds funny – but seriously – hype yourself up & everyone around you. I love being encouraged, so I started encouraging others & cheering them on. I truly believe that once you can genuinely root for others to succeed – you are happy with yourself.

5. I Started Doing Things for Me – Take blogging for example – This is something I have always wanted for myself, but I was WAY too scared of what people would say or think about it – days on end, I would ask my friends & family for encouragement & of course (as stated in #4, I would sit in my living room & give myself a pep talk) – until one day, I chose to do things for myself.

There you have it, the 5 steps that allowed me to unapologetically love myself. I know that I am by no means a health professional with all the right answers — but I do genuinely hope that someone reading this might view this post as advice & give it a try because in the end, all I want is for you to love yourself for everything that you are.

So go for it — please have the courage to choose happiness, have the courage to be your beautiful self & most importantly have the courage to unapologetically love yourself. You won’t regret it.

   Xoxo, Nicole

@nikkiabramczyk // nicoleabramczyk.wordpress.com