It’s Okay to not be Okay

Ever find yourself just f****** sad?! Like I’m talking just straight up ugly crying, on your couch rerunning things over and over in your head, trying to make sense of them. You can feel the tears running down your face and the strangest thing may happen to you, you feel some sort of relief. You can feel all the pent up frustration, sadness, guilt and heartbreak just pushing itself out of your body. At least for me. I am an avid crier; I cry at movies, songs, memories (most recently of my mom), frustration, etc…you get the hint—I fully support crying. 

There’s just something about it that is sensational. It’s a relief to not have to hold these feelings, emotions deep down inside of us and pretend like everything is okay. Believe me—I won’t even lie to you, I find myself putting on my brave face / smile nearly every day. I find myself saying that I need to suck it up, and there are people who are struggling a lot worse than me.

But that’s just it—why are we comparing others’ struggles to our own? Why are one person’s struggles any less or more important than our own? Why do we find ourselves (well at least me) taking care of others while we are neglecting and ignoring ourselves. It’s okay to admit that we are struggling and need help from the people who love and care for us. 

I’ve determined that part of being an empathetic person means feeling the good things…laughing, love, joy, etc as well as the bad things… sadness, heartbreak, and loneliness to the FULLEST extreme. It almost feels CRIPPLING at times. Like it will never end. Like you’re all alone in your own journey to find yourself and get to where you want to be. Sometimes we experience these terrible things that alter us into our new reality. 

I’ve survived my first Mother’s Day without my mom…and let me tell you, SUCKY doesn’t even begin to describe the feelings I had leading up to that day, preparing myself for the worst. I found myself dodging the stores, social media, conversations, etc…you get the hint. But the funny thing about planning for these days / weeks / moments that you know will be more difficult is once you survive them…you let your guard down and all these feelings you’ve been preparing for seem to still find their way out of your heart, when you’re least expecting it. 

Coffee has officially become my best friend and biggest support. Sometimes the little things in life, (like an iced coffee) can really help make our days better. A hug from someone you love or even just someone who knows that things aren’t easy is a must. Also, let’s not forget blaring your favorite music and dancing your heart out when no one is looking because I fully believe that even like an iced coffee, music can mend a broken heart. 

Let’s talk about friends. Anyone else sometimes feel like everyone is sick of you and want nothing to do with you anymore? Because let me tell ya—I feel this, and feel this often! I read this quote today by Wesley Snipes:  

“𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕔𝕚𝕣𝕔𝕝𝕖 𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕥𝕠 𝕨𝕚𝕟. 𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕔𝕚𝕣𝕔𝕝𝕖 𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕔𝕝𝕒𝕡 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕝𝕠𝕦𝕕𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕘𝕠𝕠𝕕 𝕟𝕖𝕨𝕤. 𝕀𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝕕𝕠𝕟’𝕥, 𝕘𝕖𝕥 𝕒 𝕟𝕖𝕨 𝕔𝕚𝕣𝕔𝕝𝕖.”

We should be surrounding ourselves with people who are cheering for our accomplishments and helping us achieve our goals. Surrounding ourselves with people who lift us up instead of knocking us down, because of their own insecurities. Because the truth is—not one of us is perfect. We all struggle and we all cry, just like we all laugh. Finding the circle where you fit in best is sometimes harder than we think, but can be so so worth it. 

In the end—we are all fighting a battle of our own that others may NEVER see. We all have to find a reason to wake up in the morning and FIGHT for what we need. My tips for you: 

And remember… sometimes it’s okay to not be okay. Be honest with yourself. 

Xoxo, Stephanie