This title may have been weird to read but it’s exactly what I’m going to discuss in my post today. A question that I’m often asked is how I get through “it” — it being anxiety, struggle, depression, etc. I’ve received many questions about how I am always able to push through and have a positive outlook.

After a couple months of going through it, I’m finally ready to share my best tips for how to get through it. Everyone will likely have a different way of dealing with things in their life, but these are the methods that seemed to work best for me.  

Therapy:

Yes, therapy. It can feel embarrassing or like you have to be at rock bottom to go to therapy, and that’s far from the truth. If you are at rock bottom, you should definitely go. If you’re not at rock bottom, you should definitely go. Counseling gives you a safe space to talk about all the things you’re going through. In most sessions, I’m able to just get my thoughts out of my head and understand them more by just talking about them.

I use to not like therapy because I felt like they would just ask you redundant, obvious questions like “so, why are you feeling this way?” Ummmm…I was hoping you could tell me that?

I think you have to approach it with an open mind and realize there is work you have to put in. I see it now as a tool for gaining self-awareness. By having discussions with my therapist, I’ve been able to work through my thoughts with more control and understanding. Therapy has taught me how to change my perspectives, set boundaries (we’ll get to that later) and work through my emotions properly. I highly recommend it to anyone who is feeling in a rut, lost or experiencing struggle in their life. It’s not embarrassing and it’s not just for “worst case scenarios”.

Tip: I used Psychology Today to find a therapist who focused on my specific needs/situations. This also provides a profile of the person, so you can find one you’d be comfortable with. Personally, I stray away from older men because I feel they are less relatable and less understanding of female struggles. No hard feelings, just preference.

Girlfriends:

Next up on my list is surrounding yourself with your girls, especially coming out of a break up situation. You may be tempted to text some f*ck boy’s to sooth your heartbreak, but girl, NO! This tactic helped me the most.

Surrounding yourself with positive women is super empowering, in any situation. When life gets busy, things get tough or we feel lonely – it’s easy to isolate ourselves but spending time with people is really beneficial for our healing process. Your girls will hype you up and help pull you out of the deepest of ruts. This somewhat relates to my next tip because relaunching PYM allowed me to connect with some amazing women. Forming this group of inspiring women who were excited about PYM like me, just empowered me and filled my heart with so much gratitude. I must credit Nikki, and the PYM Girls for much of my healing and joy over the past 2 months. As well as the other girlfriends who were there for me over the past few months.

Side hustle or hobby:

As I mentioned, the other big help for my situation was relaunching PYM. After months of focusing on my sadness and basically putting My Chemical Romance back on the charts, I decided to change my focus. In general, finding a hobby or side hustle you are passionate about is a great way to fill your time with something positive. This hobby or side hustle can also help you progress and level up as a person, which is a wonderful tool when you’re going through it.

It’s healthy to put your attention/energy into something that positively fulfills you, rather than binging tv shows or indulging in drinking. Find what sets your soul on fire and go do that!

Exercise:

We hear this all the time but it’s so true. Exercise is a great method for improving your mood and your overall well being. Exercise doesn’t have to be intense weight lifting or something unenjoyable. You can simply take a walk outside, ride a bike or take a group fitness class. This releases endorphins, and endorphins are important brain chemicals that improve your mood.

The key with exercise is finding something that you enjoy doing and not forcing yourself to do something because you’re “supposed to”. In order to see results and actually utilize this tip, you must do something you enjoy because if it feels like a chore, it will not benefit you.

Tip: Start small!

Actual self-care:

Yes, we totally love face masks but when it says “removes toxins” that doesn’t mean the real toxins in our life. Self-care means dealing with your problems head on. It means accepting your mistakes and understanding how to learn from them. It’s acknowledging your strengths and becoming more self-aware.

Self-care and self-love is about becoming comfortable with yourself, even when you’re by yourself. It’s about being mentally strong. It’s changing your negative self talk. Self-care is a daily practice of finding self-love and developing yourself continuously. You have to acknowledge where you are now and show gratitude for your current situation, in order to progress.

Self-care can be taking care of yourself in ways like face masks and bubble baths, but it’s definitely not just that. It’s a combination of all the things listed in this post.

It’s not always easy to acknowledge our mistakes and accept ourselves for who we are, but it will be key to changing your mindset and truly becoming confident in yourself.

Tip: Create little post it notes with empowering quotes to place around your house, car or work space.

Self-love is how you feel about yourself, when you’re by yourself. – Jay Shetty

Boundaries:

This tactic was the most helpful for cultivating positive relationships in my life and respecting my worth. When we don’t set boundaries for ourselves, we can’t expect people to not cross the line. Boundaries are how you build respect for yourself and communicate that to others. For me, I had to stop saying ‘yes’ to things I didn’t really want to do. So often, I do things just to appease other people but it allows people to walk all over me. If I don’t stand up for myself or take myself seriously, why would anyone else?

Boundaries also contribute to your self-worth. When you choose to surround yourself with positive people and activities, the energy you put into the universe changes. You’ll attract more like-minded people. People will have a greater understanding of your worth, as you’ve made it clear with boundaries.

Tip: Think about your current state then write down the boundaries you’d like to set.

These are the handful of things that helped pull me out of my funk. It wasn’t just one key thing, it was mix of all of these items that helped change my mindset and initiate growth. Some of these are still a work in progress too! The main takeaway I’d like you to have from this post is that it does get better, whatever you’re going through. You will be okay and you’re not alone in your struggle.

Everyone experiences struggle or trauma in some degree throughout their lives. It’s inevitable! How we manage to get through it is what’s important. I hope my tips can be helpful if you’re currently going through it. Once again, you are not alone. You’re a beautiful soul who is experiencing challenge and change, and without these two things, we would not grow. Like wildflowers, we must grow in the toughest of places before we bloom.

“Beating yourself up about regrets keeps you suspended in the past. When you accept the reality of where you are now and show yourself compassion you can move forward and be at peace.” – Jay Shetty

Sharing this super enlightening podcast on how one can grow from anxiety, depression and hardships.