Imagine this:
Your heart is pounding. You feel like you’ve really messed up with this decision. You’re feeling a little nauseous even. The anxiety is kicking in, you start playing all these terrible scenarios out in your head. Thinking “what if…” But then it happens, you push past the fear and take a leap of faith. You quickly realize the fear and anxiety was all for nothing. You feel free…
Can you guess what I’m describing?
Well, it may seem like a big life challenge or a hard decision you may have experienced in your life. It’s actually exactly what I felt right before jumping out of a plane at 13,000 feet.
I don’t know what motivated me to book skydiving but I just felt like I needed the experience in my life. One year ago, I hadn’t even considered skydiving to be on my bucket list. It seemed so dangerous and honestly, stupid. I could never.
I got hooked on a YouTube channel during my unemployment phase, called Yes Theory, that completely changed my perspective not just on skydiving, but seeking discomfort in general.
Yes Theory’s purpose is to push past their comfort zones and inspire others to seek discomfort in everyday life. I was utterly inspired by the message. I thought “maybe skydiving would be cool”, but only for a second.
As I’ve struggled with anxiety for a few years now, I’ve definitely experienced moments as described in the start of this post. I let fear and worry completely take over, the voices in my head telling me all the things that could go wrong. The “what ifs” from inside, and from others. It can be inhibiting. But, as I move through my anxieties and worries, I quickly find that it isn’t all that serious. And beyond those moments of stress, I find bliss and freedom.
The more I thought about skydiving, the more I wanted to do it.
What better way to say fuck you to fear and anxiety than jumping out of a plane at 13,000 ft?
Well, maybe that’s just my crazy outlook. Hear me out…
People that struggle with anxiety, whether it’s diagnosed General Anxiety Disorder or day-to-day anxieties many humans face, typically have the same thinking process.
First, the fear.
Then, all the possibilities of what could happen.
The anxiety. Your body starts to shut down or you feel numb.
The “THING” happens – whatever you are freaking out about
You start to feel relief, life goes on and you survive. Most times, you probably realize there was nothing to be so on edge about in the first place.
Life is an endless game of decisions, challenges and fear. It’s also filled with lots of success, growth and happiness. When we live in a state of fear, we hold ourselves back from experiencing the latter. We let fear, or anxiety, interfere with our decision making. We live in a box of “what could happen”.
I didn’t totally correlate my skydiving adventure with anxiety until after the fact.
I booked the tickets on a whim and surprised my boyfriend for his birthday, which I thought he hated me for. He was excited but also nervous. He mentioned it was on his bucket list and I kind of just full sent that statement. Happy Birthday, Dev!
I was feeling pretty badass about the decision, until the actual jump day grew closer. People started giving their two cents about the whole thing and it triggered my thoughts. The danger of the activity started to weigh on me – perhaps I was a total psychopath for booking this.
The night before, I struggled to sleep. Dev and I kept talking about it and how nervous we were feeling. I even gave the option to bail.
The day came. It was time to jump!
Silence had mostly took over the whole morning prior to the jump. We arrived at the drop zone and filled out a huge waiver. There was a video featuring a super stoic man explaining the risks of skydiving, which did not help the nerves we were feeling.
As we suited up and walked to the small plane, my heart was racing. I honestly thought I was going to pass out. When I stepped on the plane, it got REAL. There was no going back now.
It was about a 15 minute ride up into the sky to reach our drop altitude of 13,000 feet. YIKES!
As we strapped up with our tandem partners, I felt all sorts of emotions. My jump partner actually joked with me because I was gripping my seat so tightly on the way up. (I didn’t even realize it)
The door of the plane opened. It was actually time.
There was really no going back now.
I watched as Dev and his guy literally flipped out of the side of the plane –WTF, OMG what am I doing? – all things that crossed my mind at this point.
Before I knew it, I was plummeting towards the ground. The initial jump was the ultimate feeling of fear out of the whole experience because it really was an ‘oh shit’ moment. You realize the extreme discomfort you are facing.
But within seconds, it’s pure bliss. The fear subsides, you are laughing and enjoying the experience. Probably screaming too! The free falling lasts for about a minute before they pull the parachute. I honestly felt so alive during these moments. Once I reached the ground, the adrenaline high was crazy.
I wasn’t even thinking about the fear or anxiety I had felt prior to the jump.
So, I guess I’m here to say this:
Life is a lot like skydiving. Perhaps not as extreme, but similar.
We go through ebbs and flows of fear and challenges. We become comfortable with our lives and the slightest bit of risk, scares us. We don’t full send on things because we think about all the ‘what ifs’ and the opinions of others. As a big life event or decision grows closer, we experience a wave of different emotions. Some highs, some lows. But, when the thing we are most fearful of happens, whatever it may be, we realize quickly after that we’re going to be okay.
Before I jumped out of that plane, I was feeling all sorts of fear and anxiety. I thought I had lost my mind. The initial dive towards what scared me the most – death – was unreal. Weirdly enough though, it actually made me feel most alive. The awareness I gained in that moment was unmatched by anything else I had experienced in my life before.
Now, I’m not saying you have to skydive to cure your anxiety or realize you’re alive, but I do recommend stepping out of your comfort zone. Seek discomfort, as Yes Theory would say.
“Security is mostly a superstition. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold. Faith alone defends. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” – Helen Keller
This is a quote that has recently resonated with me more than ever. Basically it is saying whether you choose to live in fear or dare greatly, you will likely encounter danger and risk. By not taking risks and stepping out of what’s comfortable, you are no safer than those who do. And I guess this was my logic behind my skydiving decision. Although it seems extreme, everyday we avoid the things that scare us or push us closer to danger. By acting as free spirit in the face of fear, we actually demonstrate strength.
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Similar to the other quote, this quote summarizes how fear can cultivate positive outcomes in our lives if we are able to overcome it.
Don’t let fear rule your life. Take control of your reality and don’t be afraid to seek discomfort. Life is best lived outside your comfort zone. The most defining moments in our lives are those in which we looked fear in the face and said “fuck off”.
In order to reach your highest self, you must take risks and experience life in new ways, even when it scares you.
Thank you for reading PYM today. I hope you are able to draw inspiration from this post.
Shout out to Skydive San Diego for the amazing experience and to their employees who didn’t let us die!
xo, Alyssa
